November Madness

It is madness that Democrats continue to hide what they stand for. It is madness that Republicans can be mad, say what is on their hearts, and win election after election. It is madness for the Dems to continue to play the wimp and let the other party roll over them. So with March Madness sweeping the nation it is time to peer into the November playbook and see if there is anyway for the Democrats to win this year.

ISSUE: GUNS
GOP: Guns have been given to us from God. From pistols to tanks to nuclear devices, no one is going to take our weapons away from us.
DEMS: Well, guns do kill people, but it is in the Constitution. Maybe we can brand the bullets and maybe we can put better locks on them. Oh, we guess people can still keep their weapons.
NOVEMBER DEM PLAYBOOK (NDP): How many more innocent people are going to die from the easy access to these weapons. From the inner city to our college campuses this is an epidemic that needs to stop. Weapons for hunting are one thing but mass killing automatics will be banned forever.

ISSUE: ABORTION
GOP: It is murder. And it is not the woman who will go to jail but the evil abortion doctor. No matter what, abortion should be outlawed.
DEMS: Abortion is a poor choice. Especially in the third trimester. Women have the right to decide what to do but we all know it is only one of many solutions.
NDP: Men, keep your hands off the women. Abortion is a woman's issue. Whether raped or through mutual consent to have sex, let women choose their path in life.

ISSUE: OIL
GOP: Bring on the SUV's and Hummers. Put the gun rack up above. This is freedom. And heck, if the oil companies are cleaning up profits, well that is capitalism.
DEMS: Gas is too high. Maybe we can regulate this somehow. Shouldn't everyone squeeze into a subcompact that gets around thirty-five miles per gallon.
NDP: The oil companies are an unholy alliance with the Arabs. Why the HELL should our hard working money be swallowed up at the pump. A "to the moon" scientific effort must start immediately to get our vehicles off gas and into environmentally safe and Middle East free fuels.

ISSUE: GLOBAL WARMING
GOP: C'mon this is a myth. Drive your car and enjoy your life. Only pinko commies would reject the use of plastic shopping bags for 1960ish environmentally friendly bring your own bags to the market. What are we a third world nation?
DEMS: Could be that things are getting bad. Did you know that the world's temperature is going up by .0000001 degree every year? Did you?
NDP: Enough with cancer, asthma, and a host of other problems. For the love of our children lets get this right now! If we are indeed a Christian nation then it is time to follow the Lord's call to shed selfishness and rid ourselves of extraneous packaging and waste. If we love our nation lets clean things up.

BOTTOM LINE: The GOP will use wedge issues like gays, abortion, and patriotism to drive their message of doing nothing for the common man. The DEMS will be on the defensive to show that they are not our of the mainstream (witness Obama with all the flags at his "race" speech this week). The NDP calls for a robust campaign that points out the errors of our ways in Iraq, tax policies, health care, and the environment. The NDP rallies the people in a populist campaign for truth, fairness, and compassion. The NDP co-opts the religious right and preaches a true gospel that embraces all.