Joe Six-Pack; Joe the Plumber; Joe ...

Desperate campaigns try desperate things. The writing was on the wall when before the end of the Democratic Convention in Denver, John McCain plucked the obscure Sarah Palin from far away Alaska. As reported here earlier, the McCain campaign had to know that they had to shake things up to have any chance at this election. Ducking and hiding the new VP candidate, McCain was able to pull into a virtual tie with Senator Obama for about two weeks. But reality struck when Palin finally began talking to the press and the world markets began to crash. The close race evaporated and Obama has now pulled out a lead of between seven and ten points.

Realizing that the Palin effect was going sour, the McCain camp began a series of bizarre efforts to turn the race around again. First, the Arizona Senator decided to "suspend" his campaign to help with the passage of the $700 billion bail-out plan. When he did not receive many kudos for that performance, the McCain leadership decided (and decided in a very public manner) that they were going to defeat Obama on his "weak personal character". Out came speeches and ads trying to connect Obama with former 1960's radical turned college educational professor, William Ayers. Sensing that this supposed relationship was not hurting Obama, McCain had Palin ratchet up the rhetoric at her rallies, decrying the Illinois Senator as a "terrorist" and "not one of us". Crowds picked up on this angry line of attack and soon some in the rabid crowds were calling for Obama's head.

With the third and final debate quickly coming upon them, someone in McCain's camp came across the video of Obama talking to a bald headed, tough looking white guy from Toledo. The single dad, Joe Wurzelbacher, complained to Obama that the Democrat's tax plan would punish him if he purchased the plumbing company he currently works for.

Sensing an opening, and a chance for McCain to finally show his economic bona fides, "Joe the Plumber" was born. McCain used Joe's moniker over twenty times in last night's Hofstra University debate. Joe was to be seen as the real life cousin of Sarah Palin's fictitious, Joe Six-Pack. It was not too hard a stretch to imagine Joe out with his beer drinking buddies at the local bowling alley, pouring disdain on the "effete" Obama and his "class warfare" tax policies. From a distance it would seem that the plucking of the once unknown Toledo Joe might in fact become a last minute brilliant move.

Oh, but just like Palin before him, no one in the McCain campaign decided to get down and dirty and check out Joe's background. As this blog is posted we are learning more and more about this American everyman. We now know that Joe goes to your house without a license. We know that he has worked for about six years as a plumber. We know that he is not a fan of Social Security or any government health care. We also know that according to the U.S. Department of Labor, the average plumber (licensed) made $47,350 in 2007. Judging by his house, where Joe basked in the light of one interview after another, we can tell that Joe is probably in the lower end of the middle class. With credit tight and things difficult, we also can question whether Joe is as close to making the business purchase that he so boldly stated that was so imminent, when he confronted Obama. We also do not know why Joe is a single dad and whether he has ever gotten that government assistance that he so readily dismisses.

It is now crunch time in the election. No more face to face meetings between the candidates. In fact, thousands of citizens in most states are already finished with their voting. The clock is ticking away. Everyone and everything that the McCains have thrown at Obama has failed. In one last desperate move, here comes Joe Wurzelbacher. You can bet that his background and all his opinions and his political ties are being investigated by the mainstream media and thousands of bloggers. If McCain's past choices are a clue, we could expect in a day or two, to no longer see Joe in the bright light of the TV studios as he disappears under that kitchen sink in an anonymous home on a quiet street in Toledo, Ohio.

CNN's Targeted Debate Coverage

Isn't it enough already that we can't have more than a few seconds after a major speech, press conference, or debate before the pundits and so called experts fill the airwaves with their opinions. It would be nice to have the news broadcasts summarize what has just taken place and perhaps go to a justly deserved few minutes of commercial time so that when they go back on the air our heads would be a bit clearer and we would own our thoughts before the TV starts to fill in the contours of our brain. Wouldn't it?

But perhaps just asking for some space after the debate is now a quaint idea. Because CNN has gone a step further by having a series of red and blue targets put around the debate screen so we can see how various types of viewers are responding in real time to what they see and hear from the candidates. No longer are we allowed to wait to the end of the debate for others' opinions to shape us but in this not too brave world, CNN has decided that we must be bombarded instantly with the political ebb and flow.

The debates we watch are not really debates - most of us know that already. They are akin to two candidates sitting around on Meet The Press and answering prefabricated questions with prefabricated answers. There is little chance for oratorical greatness and true give and take between the two combatants without the guidance of the anointed host.

But at least we have been able to sit back and make our own judgments from the safety of our living rooms. We can discuss what we are seeing with our families and friends and for a moment or two suspend the jockeying for leadership in the presidential horse race. Now even the sanctity of our homes have been invaded with those annoying shape shifting targets that let us know if viewers are annoyed because candidate A was picking his nose or candidate B did not look directly at his opponent.

CNN claims to have the "best political team on TV" as Wolf Blitzer continually harps about. But with the advent of this incredibly intrusive technology they no longer deserve to be seen while the actual debate is taking place. One would be wise to turn to CSPAN where old fashioned is still in and there is still a sense that all of this means something. Instead of turning the debate into a sports spectacle, CSPAN still allows its cameras to roll and we get to watch Jim Lehrer explain the in-house rules to the audience and we watch a debate totally free from any bias.

Ultimately, the debate is about who won and who lost and who gained enough momentum to carry on to victory. But between the millions of ads and the hundred of paid buffoons who spin everything for the cameras, it would be nice to have a ninety minute time frame where words do matter and we get to sit with our thoughts and think intelligently about who we would want as the next president.

Decide Already

Every election cycle it comes down to the same thing. Hard core Republicans choose life and family issues and rally around their candidate. Left leaning Democrats see government as a help towards the bettering of the lives of the lower and middle classes and enthusiastically follow their nominee. And a growing number of so called "Independents" sit on the sidelines and act like they need to know more about each candidate and pontificate that they wish someone else was running and refuse to commit to the last moment.

If anything was apparent from the first presidential debate held Friday night it was that there are stark differences in the two contenders. For anyone looking for something new there was nothing there. Both stuck to their well worn ideas; ideas that have now been out there for over a year and a half. Anyone who has had even a passing interest in the election already know where the two men stand. McCain is going to clean up Washington, give tax breaks to the corporations, and will fight America's enemies over there. Obama wants to expand health care for most people, pursue alternative energies, and end the conflict in Iraq. Nothing new was sounded at the debate.

So the question is who are these undecideds (the new buzz word for them is the "persuadables")? And why can't they make up their minds?

For one, many might be following CNN's Lou Dobbs, who recently held his virtual reality "Independent Convention". In Dobbs' view, all problems are so simple. There is an immigration problem so build a wall that reaches to heaven. Take care of the problems at home by totally withdrawing from the world. Fix education with a strong dose of the three R's. But life is much more complex and like them or not, the candidates of the major parties realize that there are millions of people in competing camps over every issue. A skilled politician (leader) must bring many from all sides together to form a consensus.

A second reason, is that labels are out. Being a donkey or elephant is so last year. Be free to pursue whatever you want. Well we have just gone through a few years of this total freedom from rules lifestyle and have now been hit with the ongoing Wall Street crisis. People do not realize that their acceptance of tainted mortgage contracts when they had such little personal equity has now led to a foreclosure meltdown where the greedy lenders have been left holding the bag. A I'll get mine and the hell with everyone else mindset is not the way to function if our nation is to thrive.

Finally, most of us would like those fifteen minutes of fame. As Election Day draws nearer and the debates march on, who are the networks going to ask to be part of their focus groups? Obviously, those who seem not to be partisan and are undecided. Like we mentioned above, can anyone this late in the game truly not know who he or she is going to vote for? That is why the best thing to do is change the channel when these inane debate watchers are being interviewed. It is always the same. So and so seems to be so presidential. So and so seems to really know the facts. So and so seems to be such a strong leader. Please give us all a break. Cut the bull, choose a candidate, and go about your business. And after the election be counted and register for the party that best represents your interests.