The American Family

The Republicans have found a new way to focus attention on this election. Issues be damned. Who wants to think about all those pressing problems like high prices, mortgage payments, health care bills, terrorism, wars, and global warming to name just a few. No, what voters want is to feel a close affinity with the next presidential team. Remember in 2004 the real issue boiled down to who would be more fun to go out and drink a beer with - Kerry or Bush. The effete Kerry was no match for the former hard drinking Bush.

The GOP strategists realized that the McCain family could not be the Brady Bunch for the new century. John and his wife had older children (including a child adopted that was non white). That would not be the ticket. So now John and Cindy are taking on the role of the Mertzes and Sarah and Todd are the new Ricardos.

And what a family they are. Just like you and me. Gun toting folks who actually go out to the woods and shoot their own dinner. Die hard snowmobilers. Active parents who still are having children well into their forties. And to trump everything, a teenage daughter who is pregnant and will most likely get hitched as soon as she graduates from high school.

You see, the Palins are "The American Family". They are not black like that other couple. They did not go on to snooty Ivy League schools for educational enlightenment. (Gosh, it doesn't look like any of their kids want to go to college anyway). They are ravenous meat eaters while Michelle and Barack seem oh so picky about their diet. Yeah, they have two cute daughters, but they decided to put up stakes in a leafy Chicago neighborhood that most of us could not buy into.

The Republicans win elections because they have mastered the art of ethnic identification. The country can lose its moorings, thousands can die in a war, millions can lose their homes, and the air that most of us breathe causes all types of sickness. But what the heck? The President can't fix everything.

The advisers around McCain have found their way. They know that Sarah and Todd are relating to so many. Don't most families have pregnant daughters? Don't most families have children from ages 0 to 20 living in one house? Life is hard and the Palins are living proof. No fancy cars, college scholarship funds, or balanced eating plans for this family. Like Bush, the majority of Americans would much rather hang out at the hockey rink with Sarah and company than go to an urban playground and shoot hoops with Barack.

We could only wish that people would wake up to this ploy and realize the opportunity they will be kissing away if they elect McCain and his Northern Exposure partner. Perhaps, the Republicans might panic if the polls don't consistently show them with the best chance of winning this election. Children, guns, and pregnancy might not be enough to reach every American. So could the Palins stretch things out for just a short month or two? Maybe a new revelation that one of their children is gay? That would reach a new demographic. A little drunken driving episode (oh that already happened).

You get the idea. Use the Palins as the ultimate reality show. Keep the ratings up for the next sixty days. Fill the tabloids with all this junk and keep clearer minds from seeking the truth. Hey, what a way to win an election!